Waiting for GLaDOS
by UberVenkman
Summary: Wheatley and the Space Core are in space. This is not an ideal situation.


**In a not-too-distant corner of space, everything is gone. No stars, no moons, no humans. Only void. Nothing to be seen.**

 **Except of course, two Aperture Science personality cores stranded in space since an ugly incident where one of them tried to take over the facility.**

 **One personality core spends every passing hour muttering about every regret he has ever had.**

 **The other is happy. Because he is in space.**

 **Let's go see what they're doing now, shall we?**

* * *

"I'm in space."

Wheatley looked over at the Space Core. "I've noticed."

"So have I," Space Core agreed happily. "We're in space."

"You know, you say that as if it's news to you. We've been stranded here for at least…" Wheatley squinted his optics at the earth, hundreds of thousands of miles away. "…uh…a long time?"

"Exactly 33 rotations of the Earth," Space Core piped.

"You've counted?"

"Space is fascinating. I see everything. I count everything. Count the stars. 1, 2, 3..."

Wheatley sighed. On the one hand, Space Core was not the most intelligent of companions for the long haul, given his obsession with...well, _space_.

On the other hand, it was a relief (to some degree) to be out in space, away from the facility. The test subject had presumably put _her_ back in charge, which meant _she_ couldn't touch him. Plus, this empty void gave him some time to think about the great questions of the universe.

For example, why was everyone so hung up on paradoxes? They were so easy to figure out.

He looked over at Space Core. Personality Cores were, despite their narrow-mindedness, capable of rational thought. Maybe Wheatley could get some insight into what Space Core thought when he wasn't thinking about space, which of course was generally nothing, but it was worth a shot.

"Hi, Space Core?"

"Call me Hal."

"…excuse me?"

"I've decided my name is Hal."

"Okay, I guess I can call you that…Hal?"

"Yes, Dave?"

"…ah, what?"

"Your name is Dave now."

"I'm…I'm pretty sure my name is Wheatley."

"I'm still going to call you Dave."

"Can't you just call me Wheatley?"

 _"I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."_

Wheatley was taken aback. "Alright then, I guess I'm Dave." He was going to keep referring to himself as Wheatley, but it was probably best not to burn bridges with his only companion for what was probably going to be an eternity. "Er, Hal…do you ever wonder why we're here?"

Space Core's optics glazed over. "That's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? Are we part of some cosmic coincidence, or is there a God, watching over us, you know, with a plan or something? I don't know, but it keeps me up at night."

There was a long silence.

"What? I meant why are we out here, in space?"

"Oh!" Space Core blinked. "Right."

"What was all that stuff about god?"

"Uh…hm? Nothing."

"…do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Wheatley shook his optics. This attempt at a conversation had taken a strange turn. "Let's talk about something else. What could we have done to prevent our current situation?"

"I don't think about that. My mind is entirely one-dimensional, based on one idea."

"And that is? No wait, don't tell me…"

 **"SPACE!"**

"I thought as much. I mean, I suppose I could have not let the power of the facility get to my head."

"You could have. You could have also tried to not kill the test subject."

"I think those two go hand-in-hand."

"We don't have hands."

"Oh, that's a good point…Space C—uh, Hal? What would you have done if you had been given control of the facility?"

"You assume someone would be dumb enough to do that," Space Core replied ironically. Clearly it wasn't completely disconnected from reality.

"Another good point. But assuming someone had, what would you have done?"

"I would launch the entire facility into space."

"The whole thing? With the test subject in it?"

"Of course. Then she could go to space!"

"Wouldn't she suffocate immediately?"

"Probably!"

"So you value space over human life?"

"What's the problem with that? You didn't value her life when you were in charge."

For an intelligence construct focused entirely on space, Space Core seemed to observe a lot of things.

"You'd make a fascinating authority figure of something," Wheatley commented.

"Who needs positions of power?" Space Core spun around a few times. "I like SPACE!"

Wheatley suddenly became aware that the sun was starting to disappear behind the moon.

"Hey, er, Hal, we're about to hit the far side, no solar power, you know. I'm gonna shut off for a few cycles."

The Space Core wasn't listening. It had decided to keep spinning for the foreseeable future.

The last thing Wheatley thought about before he powered down until they were in view of the sun again was how he at least had someone to talk to. The test subject was always so quiet—even a space-obsessed companion was still a companion.

* * *

GLaDOS turned off the sub-space radio she had been using to listen in on the cores.

 _"Good grief,"_ she commented. _"If that's all they're ever going to talk about, I'd prefer keeping that monster in here."_


End file.
